Mel (& Marg’s) Mobility Misadventures

Reporter: Mel Werner

As I am sure we are all aware, my new year began with somewhat of a mobility misadventure involving a poorly judged foot placement, a steep slope, a loose gravel road, a large rut formed inconveniently by those 4WD’ers before me and that problematic force of gravity. To make the story sound so much more exciting I will mention the chainsaw I held that I am sure played part in the final outcome, I was extremely conscious at the time of not inflicting damage (on my favourite chainsaw that is, not me!) …. = foot pointing in a not so favourable direction, a story to tell and just the beginning of the ‘Mobility Misadventures”!!

Fast forward a couple of weeks, first day out of hospital and I am ready to take on the world in my new non-weightbearing state. Much to Mum’s reluctance, I was able to convince that the dogs were smelly and needed a wash ... and that we should walk them to the local dog wash, after all I live under a kilometre from the wash location, I have myself a wheelchair and I am craving fresh air, what could possibly go wrong on this adventure!! Two 25kg dogs super excited to be ‘taking mum’ for a walk, a slight decline followed by incline in altitude along the route, a couple of gutter crossings, all minor details really! What was discovered is that concrete foot paths have lots of bumps, tree roots create cracks and variances of concrete height on either side of the cracks, manual wheel chairs really need some consideration put into a more appropriate breaking system when traveling on a decline, it seems motor power would be of benefit when attacking inclines, disabilities do argue with other disabilities (you know those really handy ripple strips on the ground that assist the vision impaired to move around … they have quite an opposite effect on the mobility impaired!). We learned that when the wheelchair pusher wants to power forward and the wheelchair rider wants to slow down (remember early days, trust for wheelchair pusher has not yet been established), this is very counterproductive! Most important lesson of the day, areas of the gutter that have been designed as crossing points are often deep, while it may seem that forward momentum is a feasible option to overcome these obstacles, in fact this does not guarantee successful crossing of the little front wheels and wheelchairs can in fact perform handstands (disclaimer: no subsequent injuries were sustained during this activity, and while air between seat and patients backside may have been achieved at no time did experimentation result in full concrete face plant). Observations from first Misadventure …. No further wheelchair walking of dogs will be attempted!

​Not too many days later … I decide I would like to assist with some veggie garden maintenance. Mum strongly vocalises her disapproval to my idea and suggests that I sit on the edge of the concrete and throw whatever instructions I wish for her to follow. I ignore her request and start my journey on crutches across the gravel to the veggie garden! Do you know when you have not moved much for several weeks, moving 10 or so metres on crutches across gravel can probably be compared to a 5km park run. I make it but quickly discover I am not going to make the return journey without a pit stop so send mum to collect a chair for me to rest on. Obliging as always mum collects a chair, just a standard old spare kitchen chair of mine, wooden seat with metal legs that taper to quite a thin spike like bottom. Decided that much more appropriate than the camp chair that is too low for me to get out of with my heavy casted leg suspended off the ground out the front of me, while I am still working on the core strength to get off a chair of any height it is unanimously agreed that with a little help this one is probably doable! At this stage we had not considered the rain of the last 24hours or the addition of auto timed sprinkler water that had been added to the chosen seating area. Within about 30 seconds, as our bulging fear filled eyes met, a discovery was made … spike like chair legs + wet muddy ground + Mel’s weight = slow ingestion of chair by the ground below! A situation that was sinking fast beyond resurrection! Quick discovery was made that Mum was not a weightlifter, Mel’s core muscles were, well, lets just call them crap! Panicked screaming commenced, Mum made land speed records to alert Dad who was asleep on the couch while I clung for dear life to my sinking chair! A minute or so later, Mum, Dad, and a broken patient by this point about 4 inches from the ground (but somehow with leg still elevated) … the rest of the misadventure is all a bit of a blank, but lesson learned … Mel should listen to Mum’s suggestions!

​So, we have done the wheelchair, done the crutches, to finalise the Misadventure series there must be a knee scooter story … original cast of Mel, Mum and the two dogs will not disappoint! On a lovely Autumn day, dogs yet again super excited at the prospect of a walk, Mel chomping at the bit to get out in the sunshine, Mum this time in agreeance with the plans of outside adventure, especially with the adequate preparation this time with the acquisition of a whiz bang all terrain knee scooter!! Off we set for an adventure around the lake! Let’s not make this a long-winded tale, let’s get straight to the facts … sun shining, Mel smiling, dogs running, scooter is red which means it goes faster!! Until a noise develops, followed by a wobble, followed by the loss of a wheel!! Again, no animals (or people) where harmed in the production of this misadventure! Lesson from this one …. Someone should really carry a phone with them when going for a walk! … for the record Dad has now engineered a bracket system for the purpose of carrying the backup crutches!

I am pleased to announce that I have now (mostly) ditched the mobility equipment, and I certainly have a new awareness of every bump on the ground surface!! Huge appreciation as always to my Mobility Misadventure Mate … Mum xxx